Hi All!
Want to share some experience............ Yesterday at children's park I saw Priyank playing with his new remote controlled helicopter, then came Harsh, Priyank showed him his new toy and shared it with him. Harsh asked his mom to buy the same for him. Mom said no...... Harsh started crying badly....... Harsh - "You don't do any thing for me, I don't have any toy which I can show to my friends!" Mom - "Stop crying Harsh, don't be stubborn...... Harsh - why cant you buy this for me???? Mom- I said no, that's enough for you, don't cry otherwise everyone will call you bad boy............".
After some time Harsh went to play with Priyank and he broke his toy....... mom slapped harsh and took him home crying..................
Why playground turns to battle field???? What was lacking in mother child interaction??? I think it was empathy...... what do you think Harsh's reaction would have been if he would have been addressed like this...
" I understand you like the toy very much and want to buy this... can we discuss about it together at dinning table? If we all find it possible we will buy this." or " We have come to the park to have fun no? Why do you want to spoil your fun time, we will talk about it latter."
How often do we think about the reason behind child's tantrums? Why he broke Priyank's toy.... was he jealous... do we make our kid realize that he was frustrated, or jealous or feeling inferior?? Most of the kids know only two emotions - happiness and anger. Don't you think we should teach them about all the emotions we have? Tell them that it is all right to be angry, to be jealous, to be frustrated, to feel inferior sometimes. Tell them that you also feel the same sometime. Tell them the effective way to handle these emotions. Try to connect with your child, observe them, tell them clearly what you expect from them, explain them the reasons behind your expectation, never break promises, listen to them and respect their feelings and thoughts, explain whenever you say no..... most important of all say I love you to your child often.....you will see the difference in your relationship with your child. You will find it easy to discipline them if you respect them, understand them and connect with them. All that you need to do is to empathize. Always think 'how you would have thought or felt if you were there at your child's place.' Make your parent hood a smooth journey rather than a battle field.
All the very best and Happy parenting to all of you!!!!!!!!!!
Shweta Tilak
Psychologist
Asha USA (Mini Medicine Citi)
Want to share some experience............ Yesterday at children's park I saw Priyank playing with his new remote controlled helicopter, then came Harsh, Priyank showed him his new toy and shared it with him. Harsh asked his mom to buy the same for him. Mom said no...... Harsh started crying badly....... Harsh - "You don't do any thing for me, I don't have any toy which I can show to my friends!" Mom - "Stop crying Harsh, don't be stubborn...... Harsh - why cant you buy this for me???? Mom- I said no, that's enough for you, don't cry otherwise everyone will call you bad boy............".
After some time Harsh went to play with Priyank and he broke his toy....... mom slapped harsh and took him home crying..................
Why playground turns to battle field???? What was lacking in mother child interaction??? I think it was empathy...... what do you think Harsh's reaction would have been if he would have been addressed like this...
" I understand you like the toy very much and want to buy this... can we discuss about it together at dinning table? If we all find it possible we will buy this." or " We have come to the park to have fun no? Why do you want to spoil your fun time, we will talk about it latter."
How often do we think about the reason behind child's tantrums? Why he broke Priyank's toy.... was he jealous... do we make our kid realize that he was frustrated, or jealous or feeling inferior?? Most of the kids know only two emotions - happiness and anger. Don't you think we should teach them about all the emotions we have? Tell them that it is all right to be angry, to be jealous, to be frustrated, to feel inferior sometimes. Tell them that you also feel the same sometime. Tell them the effective way to handle these emotions. Try to connect with your child, observe them, tell them clearly what you expect from them, explain them the reasons behind your expectation, never break promises, listen to them and respect their feelings and thoughts, explain whenever you say no..... most important of all say I love you to your child often.....you will see the difference in your relationship with your child. You will find it easy to discipline them if you respect them, understand them and connect with them. All that you need to do is to empathize. Always think 'how you would have thought or felt if you were there at your child's place.' Make your parent hood a smooth journey rather than a battle field.
All the very best and Happy parenting to all of you!!!!!!!!!!
Shweta Tilak
Psychologist
Asha USA (Mini Medicine Citi)
this is, I think the problem of every alternate day and as the parent's patience and time devotion towards their children is going down this battlefied is becoming hot. don't u think so?
ReplyDeletedr atul ahuja